slut

I've been so neglective of late. So much has happened and i just dont want to write it all down and seem so self involved and up myself...Even though i know i am.

So somehow without dieting and without exercising i dropped 3kg and kept it off...i blame the pill. Mother f*#ker makes me retain so much fluid. Everyone has been saying "lovelyme have you lost weight? geez you need to eat something!" Even my hated ex saw me all dolled up to the max out on the town one night. He said i looked cawaii, and that i'd lost alot of weight. I was like fuck yes bitch look what you missed out on ...bastard!

The crazy thing is i have been eating. Heaps...too much, and all the magical weight loss is starting to slow down! Or maybe its just all the alcahol ive been drinking lately. I drunk like 3 bottles of vodka over 4 days the other week...each bottle helped by another person....and a slab of beer with my girlfriend on australia day.

I eat at night than i feel guilty, i go have a shower and think about throwing up but i cant bring myself to do it, so i just sit in the bottom of the shower thinking about all the dirty fat going to my thighs, tummy, arms, cheeks, ass. It makes me so sad ive decided to cut down how much i eat. Im eating less and less again! Its making me so happy to deny myself food. Tomorrow i'll have no candy or sweets!

Other than that...im like a week and a half late. I took a test but it said i wasnt pregnant. Are those test always right? I dunno how can i be this late? The fucked up thing is ive fucked two different men with no protection this month...so if i am i dont know who the father is...oh lord im a fat fucking slut!

And all i want is my ex to call me and want me back. He calls me alright...but only so he knows im still there to fall back on when his stupid girlfriend goes back home overseas without him! HA mother fucker can go jump! I miss him like all hell...but im over him. sort of.

I dunno...i always want what i cant have!

Any way recent photos of me! As you may be able to see ive been able to loose weight around my arms and what not but my thighs are still too fat! fucking hate my body!

ps im kindda drunk as i write this...

As mini mouse at a dress up birthday party.

At Big Day Out...which is a massive festival in Australia