Its been a while

So its been a while, and ive been really lazy. So much shit has gone down i cant even begin to explain. Im sorry ive been so lazy with my posts. I've become a lazy fat bitch and i can feel it. Worse news is i put on like 3 or 4 kg. I can feeeeeeel it. In my face. And see it in my dirty cellulite legs..... ItS GROSS!

Other than that i fucked my ex! Thats right ladies and gentle men i fucked my ex! The man i am obessed with, the man i am completely and utterly addicted to. I fucked him not once not twice but three times in one night (and morning)! I know i know i can hear you now i shouldnt've done it but i couldnt help it he was being completely lovable! He was sending me txt messages saying he missed me, sending me messages saying oh i hope we can meet after work if only for two seconds i just wanna see your face. (VOMIT!)

I was so fooled. I was like oh his girlfriend went back to japan, he must really like me im not second best, im not taking sloppy seconds. Wow this is all i ever wanted (CHUCK VOMIT GROSS)

Than it all went down we went on a date than again than i met up with him and fucked him....Than he didnt contact or call me for a whole week! From txting like 5 times a day to zip. nuddah...nothing! I was so fucking cut!

So i wrote him an angry email and abused him in a very mature very im the bigger person than you way! I said we shouldnt talk or see each other again. He wrote back apoligizing profusely but it was to late. Than it was my 21st and who should fucking txt me right on 12 oclock 27th of april...fucking ex bf!

I hate him but i love him. I wanna tell him i love him. I wanna tell him i cheated on him too. I wanna tell him to leave her and come back to me. I wanna tell him lets get married lets have babies!

Oh im a such physco bitch. I Still havent contacted him since i wrote that email. Im letting it stew. I probably will contact him next week though. Hmm ....

On the other hand i met my rebounds gf tonight. Yes while i was away i met another man, a kiwi. Lets call him kiwi! So kiwi and i work together. And the man has the nicest smile in the whole wide world. Seriously melt at the knees smile. Handsome man. However kiwi has the smallest dick ive ever seen. And he cant use it for shit. Very dissappointing. Any way i am slightly intoxicated as i write this because last night i went out with people from my bar job and got drunk. Kiwi turned up with his stupid girlfriend and i turned on the charm. Instead of storming away i was incredibly nice to her. She has no idea of course that him and i were an item for a couple weeks. And i think it made kiwi very nevours! HA! good i hate men. Seriously ever guy i liked leaves me for another girl or just fucking ruins me!

I cant just put it on them. Its gotta be my fault. I cant have this bad luck with men! I think i do something. Do i give it up to easily? yes! Am i a physco bitch that wants attention 24/7? yes!

Oh lord help me. I am fat i am ugly i am so fucking disturbed. Im so fat seriously its digusting. Im in my ana state of mind. Hopefully i can stay there. Im sick of eating and eating and eating and eating!

Dirty fucking food in my mouth! Somebody take away this hole in my face. I dont need it

Oh lord i think i need to throw up...oh wait i already did....