Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Long Time

Hey i know its been a long time since i posted...but im still alive!

For a while there i gave up on being thin. I just didnt care any more too much stuff was going on with work, with my ex, with family i just didnt have time to think..."how thin am i?"

But lately i quit my HATED job, and have had at least 3 weeks off and im ready to accept the discipline of being thin back into my life. And the best thing is ive not been insatiably huunngry. And its winter where i am! The most time of year to eat and im like....nah not hungry at the moment. I know its different this time because before i couldnt leave anything on my plate, specially if i brought it. I was like "i paid for this food i MUST eat it!!!" but nowits slowly! Im not hungry! leave it! Dont eat it!

Its great, and i know im not there yet but its a start. Tonight i wanted to go get a big mac with bacon and i was like i dont need it! I can live without that, and i did. I just walked home. And im hungry now and there is food i could eat in the fridge not 1ometers away but i dont want it. I want to be painfully skinny. I want to be gorgeous,i want my clothes to fall off me! I want to be that girl that everyone is like "omg i wish i could be that do you do it?"

And hopefully one day i will be her!

I'm going to south east asia in 4 days...we'll see how i go overseas with all that cheap yummy food! Bah bet i;ll put on a millon kilos but you know what i've heard? In thailand you dont need a script for valium or!!! get this!!! DIET PILLS!!! and they;re suppose to be real diet pills that you cant get here in australia! No half ass stuff its like speed in a capsul! Im gonna go hard...loose 10kg if i can, than go to the UK and try and keep it off. Do you reckon i can do it? Maybe 10 is pushing it but at least 5....AT LEAST FIVE!!

Hope you girls are doing better than i am. Im just getting back on the train and ive missed you ana ...deeply! Done to my bones.

I want to be Thin!
I want to be gorgeous!
I want to be skin and bones!