Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Long Time

Hey i know its been a long time since i posted...but im still alive!

For a while there i gave up on being thin. I just didnt care any more too much stuff was going on with work, with my ex, with family i just didnt have time to think..."how thin am i?"

But lately i quit my HATED job, and have had at least 3 weeks off and im ready to accept the discipline of being thin back into my life. And the best thing is ive not been insatiably huunngry. And its winter where i am! The most time of year to eat and im like....nah not hungry at the moment. I know its different this time because before i couldnt leave anything on my plate, specially if i brought it. I was like "i paid for this food i MUST eat it!!!" but nowits slowly! Im not hungry! leave it! Dont eat it!

Its great, and i know im not there yet but its a start. Tonight i wanted to go get a big mac with bacon and i was like i dont need it! I can live without that, and i did. I just walked home. And im hungry now and there is food i could eat in the fridge not 1ometers away but i dont want it. I want to be painfully skinny. I want to be gorgeous,i want my clothes to fall off me! I want to be that girl that everyone is like "omg i wish i could be that do you do it?"

And hopefully one day i will be her!

I'm going to south east asia in 4 days...we'll see how i go overseas with all that cheap yummy food! Bah bet i;ll put on a millon kilos but you know what i've heard? In thailand you dont need a script for valium or!!! get this!!! DIET PILLS!!! and they;re suppose to be real diet pills that you cant get here in australia! No half ass stuff its like speed in a capsul! Im gonna go hard...loose 10kg if i can, than go to the UK and try and keep it off. Do you reckon i can do it? Maybe 10 is pushing it but at least 5....AT LEAST FIVE!!

Hope you girls are doing better than i am. Im just getting back on the train and ive missed you ana ...deeply! Done to my bones.

I want to be Thin!
I want to be gorgeous!
I want to be skin and bones!



Falling_Starlight said...

Your trip sounds exciting! I hope you lose all 10 kg you want to!

Love and smiles,

Ana's Girl said...

Sounds to me like your well on your way to being that girl that you wish to be. You sound so insanely strong in this post! Keep it up; you're doing great!