I wish i could be skinny, but i love eating so much. How unfortunate that i have to be one of those people who eat for comfort. I wish i was those lucky people who cant eat when they're depressed. But than im not really depressed...im just sad.
Sad that im so far from home. So far from everything i know and love - Lovelyme in a foreign country! Working, living...eating.
Sad that im fat and i dont care, sad that ive had to grow up so much over the last 3 months that i'll never have that innocence back.
Sad that before i left, i stupidly started a relationship with my ex again. Sad that we admitted we "loved" each other. Sad that its now finally and irreversible over. Sad that he couldnt be a real man and start a family with me. Sad that because of him i murdered our unborn child. Sad that he couldnt care less about it. Sad that he left me to go back to her. Sad that she is so beautiful and so skinny! Sad that he is with her now and doesn't break down in silent tears every time he sees a baby or a pregnant woman. Sad that he doesn't think about me everyday as i think of him. Sad that the only people i can tell are the on the otherside of a computer screen.
And sad that I cant forgive myself for what i've done ...and for still being hopelessly in love with him.