Thursday, December 16, 2010


Sometimes its a bit overwhelming...and i dont know where to turn.
Lately ive been getting depressed again. And i know thats not a good thing
But secretly i am happy for that means that im going to take loosing weight seriously.
I dont know what triggers it, but i cant hide this darkness...
thats plagued me since i started this blog.
And i dont want to write about misery's of what ive done and what ive been throw, cause im not the only one. And this is only the start, im not suicidal...i have a long life ahead of me
and i want to live a skinny life. A Beautiful life
I want people to say as i turn my back
"wow she's lost so much weight hasnt she?"
I want to be that girl that doesnt eat very much and people look at her funny.
The beautiful one...

Last night i throw up. I made food, ate it, and throw it up in a rage of guilt...
all within 40minutes. This morning my stomach as flat.
I am happy for this...

Im scared my depression will get worse...and im scared i cant hide it, and im happy i will be skinny, beautiful, thin...and people will want me
i will want me

This is a fantastic thinsipiration site...take a look

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