This is pathetic but this is how i feel...
I hate this body!
My boyfriend despises this fat!
But I cant stop eating!
I want to fast for a million years!
I want to be skin and bone!
I want to make my boyfriend like what he sees!
So his heart and eyes will not wander!
If I am skinny everything in this world will be okay!
Everything in my world will be okay!
And i will be worthy of him!
He wont tell me to stop eating and drinking so much!
He wont tell me to keep exercising!
He will smile when i leave my plate untouched.
He will smile when he grabs my love handles and feels only bone!
When we make love My body will be so thin and fragile,
When we make love My body will be so perfect.
How can i stop this perpetual circle of hate and disgust.
How can i starve myself?
Starving for prefection....hardly!
More like eating myself to Misery, Loneliness and Dispair!
HE WILL LEAVE YOU SOON IF YOU DONT GET THIN!
YOU WILL HAVE NO ONE
YOU WILL BE ALONE
BUT MOST OF ALL YOU WILL ALWAYS BE
F A T