Sunday, January 22, 2012

Fat Foto

I went to a house party last night. They took photos. I look so fat. My arms are ssoooo fat. My face is fat. Thank god my legs were covered under a skirt so you couldnt see how fat they were or i might have cried. Im suppose to be loosing weight but its not working. I dont understand why i cant stop eating, and im tired of saying the same thing over and over without making any kind of difference.

I need to do this, im just scared people will notice and get angry at me. But im scared to actually do the ana tactics so they dont notice becasue i dont want to go in that deep... or do i?

I need to make a choice. Do i want to be skinny or do i want to stay the fat tube of lard i am?
No i want to be skinny! I want people to say "wow look how much weight she's lost!" When i go back overseas. I want my ex to think i look stunning. So he wont make any more fat jokes. No more treating me like a second rate girl he just hangs out with then there is nothing else to do. I want him to want me. Desire me. I want to be skinny... I want this so bad. Why cant i just take it!!!!!!????

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