Tuesday, June 16, 2009

up chuck

Tonight i throw up half my dinner and all my desert.

If i ever managed to have even the slightest of ana... ive lost her

I still throw up my food sometimes ...but mia isnt my friend

I weigh no more no less, but my life is changing all the time since i moved back to my home town.

Ive met a new man but im not sure about him...

My ex stayed over the other night. We got drunk and he slept in the same bed as me. We used together and i havent got high since august 2008.

He text me the next day saying he cant stop thinking about me...And before that i havent heard or seen him since he walked out on me over a year ago.

Ive got a new job, and its soooo intense! Mon - Fri 40hrs a week!

My share house i moved into is...so many things. Great and Horrible, fun and in your face yet awkward and fragile.

I just want some stability, something permanent in my life that i know wont change quickly. Something positive and permanent.

Im scared that nothing i have now will last and everything will come crashing down. Change is good but this much change is hard to handle.

...And im still to fat!

Current weight as of Saturday morning - 60.5kg

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