Thursday, July 2, 2009

It's back!

Okay its back....and fuck its been long enough!

Im sick of being a fat bitch. Ive got a new job and its in telephone business centre or aka call centre. hahaha

Its the worst fucking job in the world seriously! I fucking hate it! I hate the poeple i work with, i hate the trainers! I hate the work!


Literally i throw up in my mouth every time i see these people walk past. And they're everywhere. Where i work is like a disease ridden fat fest! Everyone is fat...everyone! About 90% of the people i work with are over weight.

Im not joking. It's fucking disgusting!

Its so bad ive started jogging again. I refuse to get like those poeple. I would quit tomorrow except ill never get another job that pays as well as this one does and im planning to go overseas by the end of october.

Just fuck off overseas and not have to worry about any of this petty bullshit going on in my life! Maybe actually find a real man with a real dick who'll fuck me properly! eeehhhh this man im with at the moment my god...i think he's a closet gay!

Sorry im venting! I havent written on here in ages and ive just had all this pent up rage. I really dont knwo what it is. I get on the bus home after work and i just wanna fucking bunch someone out. I stand on the over crowded bus to work and dream about going to london and seeing my old boss and working for him again in some seedy awesome bar in old london town and fucking his brains out. I sit in this freezing cold room all day at work and fucking dream of what i want my current man to do to me. Dream of being anywhere but where i am now. Than i go home and wanna bunch someone out? What is this rage?

I fucking love it though! At least now i actually feel like im living!

I love these emotions these raw fucking out there emotions. No more dull nothing ness! Its all out there to feel to see to want and touch!

Im still fucking fat toooo fucking fat. But at least in the TBC i have thinspiration all around me. Everywhere i look there are fat fucking pigs! Disgusting seriously! My legs pressed together dont make one of your thighs!



Errr thinking about it makes me want to throw up....blarrrrrr

Im starting off slow though, ive stopped eating sweets and cookies and what not. But im still eating to many carbs. This faggot of a man that i for some god forsaken reason like is a gym junkie and a personal trainer slash mega awesome bodied man who doesnt eat anything bad or drink!!!! So ive decided i have to get really thin so i dont look like a fat fucking cow next to him.

All my life is pointing towards getting skinny...i fucking love it!

Oh and lastly my drinking problem is getting worse and getting better. I dont get crazy rude obnoxious drunk anymore. I dont even get that bad a hang overs any more. But ive started drinking everyday. I have to have a drink after work now to calm down. Just one or two beers....or three sometimes. Everyday.

Its hard to go a day without a drink

I need to get thin

I need I want I must have

Thin Ana please come back??

1 comment:

sadhana said...

I've worked in call centers before and you are soo right about it being full of mostly fat people (I'd probably fit into that category, sadly). I had to quit the last call center I worked at because I started fantasizing about killing myself on the way to work every day - things like purposing running my car into a semi or something. Just to avoid working there!! I feel for you, I really do.. worse job ever! But you got to do what you got to do.