Wednesday, February 3, 2010

A Murderous, Selfish Slut.

I dont like that last post. But i wont delete it - what's written is written.

I feel empty now a days. My bestfriend is seeing her boyfriend more and more. And i dont know how to tell her im bored. She wants to postpone the trip overseas. I just want to leave.

Im sick of my boring life. Im sick of thinking about my ex every fucking day and missing him than feeling like a loser.

Im sick of being FAT! Im sick of my job. Im sick of being so hopeless when it comes to men and relationships.

Im sick of complaining....do something about it!

I it weird that when ever i cross the road i think how if i walked a little slower or entered the road a little later would the car hit me? How much would it hurt if the car hit me? Would i die?
And im still late thats almost 2 weeks now... Im eating less though, if i am im killing it slowly.
A Murderous, Selfish Slut.

Welcome to my world.

3 comments:

Africana said...

I'm sorry to hear you're so down these days. Men/Relationship wreak havoc on our self-esteem and lives. Until I met my husband a few years ago I was a promiscuous alcoholic. If a man wasn't wanting me, I didn't think I existed. It was a shitty way to live but it was all I had...along with my eating issues.

I don't mean to ramble on about me. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

You are human. And sometimes life sucks. But the good thing is that everything eventually passes.

Just hold on.

I send you strength.
xox,
A

Ana's Girl said...

Oh dear, sweetie, i'm so sorry you seem to be losing your best friend to her boyfriend... I know how that feels and it hurts like hell.
It's not uncommon for girls to lose their period when they're eating barely anything. It's called ammenorheia (dunno how to spell it tho. oops..).
Hang in there, sweetheart. Remember everyone here still loves you!

Perfecting my Emptiness said...

OK...i am sorry if i upset you with the last comment i gave you, it was meant well.
i hate it when people say shit like"i understand you" especially when they don't, so i won't say that i understand you, just that if you feel the need to speak to someone, i am here....we all are here for you.
kisses and hugs:*
"PerfectingMyEmptiness"