Tuesday, April 21, 2009

It's back baby!

Its back baby and I couldn't have picked a better night for it! So today I had the munchies I don’t know what it was perhaps it was because I didn’t go out or do anything, maybe it was because I was just hungry but I woke up and had my normal breakfast than I was sooo tempted to keep eating but I tried my hardest not to because I knew that my father was taking the family out for dinner tonight, to wait for it...Indian!! I know right how fatty? And I was snacking of course like I always do. Cracker here, apple there but I didn’t have another meal because I knew I’d chow down on that crap tonight like that fat bitch I am and I did. However blessing in disguise well not really because it was a major upset but my bro and my dad kicked up a big fuss and had this massive fight with each other and my mum gets up and walks out of the restaurant. I sit there a while longer but in the end I’m so embarrassed by my family I get up and leave as well. When I get home I feel mega mega guilty I had two massive portions of mango chicken curry with rice and nann bread! Sooo I say I’m going to have a shower and wallaping wallabang I got my groove back! I throw up hard styles and everything came up, the nann bread the curry and the rice and the red wine! I was so happy it all came up! And now I’m not even hungry...heck yeah only I’m a little scared to weigh myself. Even though it all came up I still feel like a fat heifer.

Besides all this I fly back to my home town on Thursday mid day, I’m a bit nervous! I’m getting my hair done and than I’m meeting that guy and staying at his house that night! I really don’t want to do anything stupid like sleep with him! I know the past me would totally do that and probably end up silently crying myself to sleep in a strangers bed, but I’m not the old me! I’m the new me soon to be skinny me and I won’t do anything stupid...I hope! Any way I could keep writing a novel here but I won’t. No one wants to hear my insecurities and problems right? Just as I don’t want to hear theirs...

Breakfast - muesli, 3x strawberries, milk
snacks - 2x cracker, 1x apple, 1x banana, 1x handful grapes, 1x peanut butter on bread
dinner - mango chicken curry and rice*
drinks - tea, milk, water, red wine*
* Throw that shit up!!!!
weight pm - 61.5

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