Friday, April 10, 2009

Lonely Lonely that is Me

Well i havent thrown up for about 2 days now. Although ive been eating alot less than i normally would. Today i woke up and had scrabbled eggs with buttered toast and bake beans. I had a bannana but than didnt eat again until about an hour ago. I had a home made indian curry with rice. Ive kept it down and im hungry again but im not going to eat anything else cause i know ill just feel like throwing it up. Yesterday i didnt eat any dinner either so low and behold i didnt have to throw up. If i can help it i dont want to throw up because the more i do it the more my family could find out!

On Another note my parents went away for easter and my bro invited his mates over. Im sitting out there trying to have a good time, looking skinny because i put my fake tan on! Any way i go away and when i come back my bro is chopping. I cant believe that he'd start smoking again...and infront of me? Doesn't he know how fucked up i am that he went to jail for this? Fucking jail...and he's just doing it straight infront of me. Well i didnt even sit down i just walked away. He came to find me in my room and i told him my mind. He didnt like it. But fuck him, im so dissappointed in him. And im so ashamed of what he did. How the fuck can he be like that?

I feel so alone...

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